To Explain or not to Explain?
It took him a very long time to realise there was more to hemi learning than his relying on hemi instinct and its team. So, it’s time for him to start taking responsibility for dealing with me himself, asking whether, as I’m always hemi invisibly with him, should he introduce me to you or not and, if so, how?
Informal Hemi Instances
Walking Along the Pavement with You
He’s back to the Google hemi library with two people walking together, one invisible, the other only in half – though, as earlier, his own half-eyes see nothing more than his right arm or his right leg, nothing at all of the other person.
You recognise each other at the station and realise you’re going the same way. It isn’t far, so you decide to walk. Simple and obvious. Extremely rude otherwise. Except, which side of you should he walk?
With hemi instinct’s training still with him, he’s already heading for the “left wall”. Except, hold on……
If he does so, his half-eyes will be unable to see you – again as earlier, his head will be focusing on the “left wall” along with his half-eyes, from time to time a half-eyes flick to my right hemi blank side to check the entire pavement, an occasional quick head turn to check the road as well. He'd be aware of you, perhaps his head turned sufficiently for his half-eyes to see you, though only for a moment and completely dependent on pavement traffic conditions. For much of the time he’ll appear to be ignoring you.
So, to avoid being rude he realises he’s no option but to abandon hemi instinct’s “left wall” hemi training yet again and switch to the “right curb”, my right hemi blank side, or to the middle of the pavement if it's wide. And at first things go well. There’re no “mobile or fixed obstacles” his half-eyes can see. Conversation begins.
Though not for long. His half-eyes notice some “mobile obstacles” approaching, beyond them a “fixed obstacle”, more further on. His half-eyes have no option but to concentrate on the various “obstacles”, not you. Conversation grinds to a halt.
Which begs the question once again, what to do? Should he continue as if nothing’s happening, or try to explain me? If yes, how? Perhaps a throwaway - “sorry, I’ve only half my vision” or something like that, leaving you to think whatever you want.
Except what if it isn’t enough? Not that anyone would want one of his longwinded hemi explanations of a name that’s instantly forgotten. Anyway, most likely by now you’ve decided to find another way next time. Or is it all in his mind?
It’s even more to the point when your friends are with you.
Elsewhere
leading colleagues to a meeting the other side of London that only he’s been to before and ending up having to be led as he can’t see the direction signs, negotiate the rush hour hemi mayhem and keep in touch with you at the same time;
explaining why he prefers to sit at the top right side at the cinema as it’s the equivalent of still being in pre-hemi time and speed, and then sitting beside you on your left side so he can see you as well;
trying to avoid shopping with you in the market on Saturday mornings as he struggles with buying, carrying, avoiding hemi bumping into everyone and everything, and keeping in touch with you as you’re in a hurry;
and once again, missing you as you approach from directly ahead while his head’s still turning back and forth, a gentle version of my blank hole.
Eating Out - Sitting at a Long Table (at a square table he can see you both at the same time as in one of the hemi image)
chatting with you on his left side and therefore unable to see your friend on my right hemi blank side;
turning to your friend which requires a “formal half-right turn”, meaning he’s completely ignoring you;
feeling uneasy at the risk of waiting-staff approaching to serve on my right hemi blank side while he’s talking to you again on his left side;
always having to move his glass from my right hemi blank side to his left side for instant hemi security.
Eating In
The kitchen’s the hub of the home with everyone gravitating towards it, a place for simple pleasure though with some hard work required from time to time. And it’s not always the safest place – stove, boiling water, hot dishes, electrical appliances with leads, items on edges asking to be knocked off, younger members of the household as well as elders, never to forget anyone on four legs.
In such a setting the last thing he wants to do is introduce me, or remind anyone who’s already met me which side of him can he see. Do so and the conversation will immediately stop, then start again in a different tone. The only people who ever remember which side I am are aged 10 or younger.
What made the fate-designed 10 years hemi holiday kitchen of earlier so hemi perfect was that no one could approach him from my right hemi blank side. He could operate as if he was still in pre-hemi time and speed. In every other kitchen he’s been in, and however hard he keeps repositioning me within it, there’s always the moment someone can see him and he can’t see them or something that’s a risk.
Given this and knowing when it’s about to happen, he performs in the kitchen much as he does along a narrow pavement, standing back or to one side to avoid any hemi bumping. Yet no one realises, there may well be space enough, and if not so what, it’s only a kitchen. Which, reasonably enough, from time to time can cause annoyance. Sometimes it’s sensible to keep to one side. Whatever, it means he’s hemi instinctively as well he’s always on duty.
After the Meal
It’s much the same outside.
After the meal some exercise. Though no ball games throwing one from him to you and back again, or with others involved as well. For most of the time he’d be unable to see the ball on my right hemi blank side till it’s too late. Except for table-tennis as the game appears to be played sideways.
Also Give Me Five which can be embarrassing. If he punches out my right hemi blank side fist to grasp yours in fellowship, he’ll most likely miss as his half-eyes won’t see it till the last moment. Play safe and he’ll miss the entire point of the gesture.
Formal Hemi Instances
Interview With or Without Me
Somehow, he’s got through the hemi computer phobia test, or more likely there hasn’t been one, and’s now waiting for the interview proper. He’s ticked the “disabilities” box as usual. It’s good for his prospective employer’s Equal Opportunities record, though he’s never heard anything more.
He knows that during interviews the prospective employer must ask the same questions of every candidate, and there isn’t one here that suggests he should introduce me. It certainly isn’t the moment for him to initiate the introduction.
Yet if he’s offered the job, should he introduce me then? If not, he might be guilty of accepting the job under false pretence. Not that he’d have done anything wrong. Though if he struggles with the job due to me, imagine the hemi explaining required.
And if fate had brought his employment to an end earlier than it did (see Paradise Lost 2), he’d have found himself having to explain both my rewiring hemi companion and me to the Jobcentre. Most likely they’d have thrown him out as workshy.
Training Day
It’s training day. Everything’s been going well. He’s managed to arrange himself as he always wants, at the back of the room on my right hemi blank side so he can see just about everything as if in pre-hemi time and speed – as at the cinema in hemi instinct’s hemi image.
However, it’s now the moment he dreads. Everyone’s moving their chair to form small circles. The trainer’s handing out something to be read and then discussed, with a general agreement five minutes will be quite enough. Meaning he’ll be a quarter way through when the others have finished and, as he’s been under pressure, unlikely to have absorbed much.
So, again what to do? Try to explain me to the group? That would be a waste of everyone’s time. Imagine the polite annoyance as he rabbits on? Best pray no one will ask him a question. If they do, play “follow my leader” and agree with everyone else regardless. If necessary, play a bit dumb.
Or try to explain me to the trainer? Yet I’m not the training agency’s responsibility. Turn to his employer in advance? Once he tried with a minimum response that was immediately forgotten.
Appropriate Adult
The final hemi instance, the hemi issue that worries him most, though he never thought of it as such till after it might have mattered to him. It worries him as it’s so simple and just about universal, leaving him in the wrong whichever way he turns.
He’s been asked to help with the school outing. Yes, of course. So please fill in this form. It won’t take long. It’s for him to be confirmed as an Appropriate Adult. Some basic checks. Think of all the unpleasantness that’s been happening.
He starts. Simple. Of course he’s appropriate. Think of what he’s done, still doing.
Though hold on. Remember that time at Waterloo Station? He’d found it difficult enough to look after himself, let alone anyone else – ticket, timetable, toilet, clock and departure time, platform number, your luggage-buggy, everyone else’s luggage-buggy, some passengers running, others ambling, yet others suddenly stopping in front of him. And Waterloo must be one of the widest stations in the world, always hemi mayhem.
It left him feeling uneasy, especially when he nearly hemi bumped into the passenger cutting across him at speed on my right hemi blank side. Certainly their fault, or just perhaps not as I was with him as usual? He could never be completely sure.
But that was entirely different. School trips are always so well organised with plenty of other adults involved. Nothing can possibly go wrong. Sounds as if he’s trying to make an excuse. Wonder what it’s going to be?
Though hold on again. As an Appropriate Adult, he’s expected to look after young people, not struggle to look after himself. And what if something does happen? Nothing to do with me, of course. Yet, once again, how can he ever be sure? Imagine facing the children’s parents when they find out?
And imagine having to face the same parents when he says he won’t help with the outing after all and therefore their children can’t go on it? He says it’s in their best interest as he’s suddenly come up with some ridiculously sounding sight problem he’d never referred to before. Best pass it on to the others.
Hemi Challenge
After all these years of struggle, what’s he finally come up with? Not a single hemi colleague, a fair amount of hemi information of unknown value, the hemi stories as fillers, nothing more.
Except fate’s just turned up yet again and taken him back to the very beginning, to my introductory hemi observations – my impossible hemi name, hemi invisible, the unlikelihood of anyone knowing I exist. And it’s my hemi name that’s much the most unhelpful of the three, triggering the other two. Hence hemi instinct’s succession of hemi names to help make up a bit for mine.
Though fate’s already moved on and’s introducing itself to my hemi companions. My epilepsy hemi companion’s instantly understandable from its name alone. Call it, and there’ll always be an immediate response. No explanation required.
It’s hardly the case with my rewiring hemi companion. Except fate’s borrowed dyslexia as a stand-in. It also refers to getting letters, words and numbers jumbled up in a somewhat similar way. Not so well known as epilepsy, yet also immediately understandable in the right setting.
Fine, though what’s it to do with me? The two names have long gained their recognition while I remain completely unknown. It’s now the 21st century when explanations are required even before the question’s been asked.
Which makes fate laugh. Remember the hemi business card he’d discarded as not good enough to explain me, merely “what you see, what he sees”? Try again if he seriously wants everyone to hemi understand. It may not be as perfect as he’s been going on about, yet, if it’s good enough for Google, why not for him?
Surely, isn’t this becoming ever more hemi confusing? Even if a hemi business card’s acceptable as a hemi explanation, what’s still needed is a descriptive word or two to go with it. Much the same as the ones hemi instinct’s been coming up with time and again. A kind of hemi strapline.
It’s why fate’s taking him back to the beginning, fortunately for the very last time like hemi instinct’s ducks much earlier – and, now that he remembers, they made such simple hemi sense.
Except fate’s pointing to his first sighting of the hemi name that’s taken over and been dominating this hemi main story. It was a fun name at first, though not for long. It’s already been making even more simple hemi sense - a bit of fun to make certain they’ve been noticed, then instant understood, never to be forgotten again. So simple, the complete opposite to……what used to be my original name.
Of course, it can’t be half-eyes on their own. That would also be ridiculous. Yet what about blending the past with the present, or rather the past and the future?
Now for fate’s finale. There’s a bit of similarity between homonymous and half-eyes. So, why not give homonymous a rest and introduce his half-eyes to hemianopia – youth and vitality meet wisdom and renown, instantly self-explainable with or without a hemi business card. Approach all hemis this way and it needn’t take long before my new hemi name’s as well known as my 'hemi companions’, a nice ring to it to complete.
Half-Eyes Hemianopia - Hemi Ending
That’s it. Thank you for your patience, or I hope you’ve enjoyed your snooze. Thank you also to fate - after setting up on Ugi with utter venom, it’s entirely responsible for Hemi Challenge. And if somehow his hemi stories dream comes true, perhaps fate will support his hemi colleague cousins with your own unknown disability stories.
As for him, he’s back to the Google hemi library. If he hadn’t stopped a long time ago, he’d never have completed it – finding what he’d missed previously and missed since. And have a go at the other hemi stories, really impossible stories of any type, once again “thanks” to fate.
