Hemi Who? 

That said and me deciphered, he now sees only on his left side due to me. Or rather with a tiny bit of half-eyes vision on my right hemi blank side. I’m most certainly not rectangular, nor can I ever be seen [image 006].

Or rather a fair amount more half-eyes vision, far more than he’d ever imagined given my right hemi name. His full-eyes had never done much at their far ends, while his half-eyes have only one such end. The other, the one on my right hemi blank side, is fully upfront to help limit the nuisance I can cause him [image 007].

He learned this from Chirpy [image 008], while hemi instinct keeps reminding him that the more his half-eyes see on my right hemi blank side, the less they can on his left side. Though the main hemi headache I cause him isn’t with his long-vision [image 009], rather his short-vision [image 010]. That’s except when pedestrian traffic’s heavy and he wishes he had Rufus beside him [image 011].

And adding yet more to the hemi confusion, one moment his half-eyes can see just about as much as he used to [image 013], the next quite the reverse [image 014].

Anyway, that’s more than enough of him and me for the moment. Now the hemi characters who’ve been supporting him ever since I arrived. And amazingly, there’re so many of you

'Mum'

That the hemi stories have at last been completed and in this form is due to 'mum' with her endless patience and inspirational support. She’s no longer with us in person, yet it makes no difference as she’s always here [image 015].

Unknown Hemi Colleagues

As already, the starting point of the hemi stories is his failure - even now - to meet a hemi colleague. That’s despite there being so many of us, at least in Australia as in a moment. Or perhaps he’s wrong after all and’s met you already. There’s no special hemi identity mark to tell him who’s who – like on the stairs.

Half-Eyes

His half-eyes are what the hemi stories are about. Before long they’ll be taking over, with fate even coming up with a new hemi name for me as a result - such simple half-eyes sense for everyone to know and understand [image 016].

His Head

Intriguingly, I’ve caused his head to work far harder than ever before. It now has to support his half-eyes to extend his half-eyes vision further along my right hemi blank side, while being based with his half-eyes on his left side under the “new true middle” [image 017].

Right Hemi Blank Side

Me again, this time with “what you see, what he sees”. He and fate are always arguing over the best way to display me, the business card approach using half ducks [image 018], or hemi instinct’s hemi images [images 019 & 020]. The argument will continue till the end of this hemi main story, fate inevitably winning - on this occasion absolutely so.

My No-Longer Right Hemi Blank Side

As it’s already apparent that his half-eyes with the help of his head can cover close to half my right hemi blank side, welcome my no-longer right hemi blank side as I’ve lost sole hemi control here – all this regardless of fate. Though this new hemi expression will be used sparingly as it’s even longer than mine.

My Blank Hole 

Equally or even more so my blank hole, insidious, on occasion dangerous. Turn to his left side, then to my right hemi blank side, or the other way around, only to find my blank hole’s crept up somewhere in the middle unrealised by his half-eyes. 

My Hemi Companions 

After the medical masterclasses that saved his life, he walked out of his final hospital with nothing to show for it than very mild epilepsy, rapidly recovering from complete communication loss and me (see also Paradise Lost 1). My epilepsy hemi companion will scarcely be noticed here, rather in Paradise Lost 4. However, my rewiring hemi companion started to fray a bit at the edges continues to increase, though only very slightly. 

Head and Half-Eyes Partnership

A couple of words on the other key hemi characters -

• My arrival caused the collapse of “central control”, with “looking ahead” [image 029] and “seeing ahead” [image 030] no longer meaning the same;

• Instead, his half-eyes find themselves with 2 letters, perhaps 3 on my right hemi blank side [image 031];

• Then hemi instinctively extend to halfway along his line of text [image 032];

• Completing it with the help of his head [image 033];

• This followed by Chirpy’s arrival along with his long-vision [image 034] to introduce “Chirpy’s horizontal” [image 035], still on my right hemi blank side though helping him to realise things have changed on his left side as well due to me [image 036];

• as a result, his head and his half-eyes form “collaborative control” and take responsibility for his left side as well as my right hemi blank side, assuming their job’s been done;

• till hemi instinct points out there’s still much of the “new true middle” to be explored, while hemi issues are entirely new to him.

Italics

Italics started as a kindly gesture on his part as a reminder that I’m present, even though hemi-invisible. It’s one he soon regretted, his half-eyes having to keep losing their position along the line to perform short-vision toolbar demands, then try to find it again.

Non-Hemis

Fortunately, he’s never had to worry about wearing glasses for my benefit [image 037], nor an eye-patch to hide me [image 038].

Hemi Stories

This hemi main story is one of five. The other four, Paradise Lost 1 to 4, were orchestrated by fate at its most impossible extremes, surprisingly at its best on occasion as well as its usual worst. In Paradise Lost 1, fate almost killed him twice, then won him the jackpot three times on the same night at odds of a billion to one against - five impossibles in all.

It returned 42 years later in Paradise Lost 2 to finish the job, nearly getting him to kill himself after being blamed for two issues nothing to do with him except for his having a hemi - the hemi stories are a kind of therapy for him. Paradise Lost 3 still remains inaccessible. Paradise Lost 4 include a medical condition that still appears not to exist. The only connection between the hemi stories is fate and me. 

Hemi Disorder

All this may suggest a degree of hemi order. Best think again, along with a prize to the hemi colleague who’s found the most  of his mistakes. 

Hemi Why?

We met on Ugi, a tiny island in the Solomon Islands [images 039 & 040]. Ideal for him, though not the holiday brochure type and medical facilities free. Or rather for the islanders, while he was set off on a 13 days 10 hours 24,000 miles journey to the nearest hospital with a neurology department [image 041] – inequality at its most most extreme.

His trial and error included driving again for two years without any cause for concern after failing to find anyone or anything to tell him he mustn’t [image 042], cycling in London for a year when cycling was in decline [image 043], helmets unknown [image 044] and part of his skull missing, finally being rescued by London Transport [image 045].

Fate even gave him an impossible 10 years hemi holiday from me. He wasn’t a chef, yet found himself working as one day and night in a kitchen designed to perfection for a right hemi, something completely unrealised by everyone involved including him. He was still so hemi ignorant that it took him another 10 years to realise that, if I’d been a left hemi, his half-eyes wouldn’t have seen much of the stove [image 046, 047 & 048] - and quite likely the business fail.

Happy to be out of the kitchen, though not entirely. He’d long feared computers and survived only a class and a half of Beginners’ IT spent searching for the cursor hiding in the vast emptiness of my right hemi blank side [image 049]. Fully understandably his tutor had no idea of what was wrong with him, while he didn’t know how to explain me.

By then he’d met some “real” VIP friends. They’d also never heard of a hemi, yet took him to Sight Village where all the software and gadgets created for VIPs were on display [image 050]. If anyone knew anything about hemis they would. Except they didn’t, at least not the people he met.

The VIPs ran their own Beginners’ IT class. The two tutors have no vision and taught other VIPs how to use the internet via Azabat [image 051] and other specialist software. That way VIPs were regaining an aspect of their previous lives or finding a bit of everyone else’s for the first time.

Hemi Technicals

Leaving aside for a moment his dream of a hemi ducks business card, hemi technicals. They’re the problems I cause him most. He hasn’t included his long-lost driving license as, lucky again, he’s been living in London for almost all his hemi years and therefore never explored his entitlement to a new one.

• they can almost never see the main actions on the toolbar – italics again [image 057] - and what he’s working on at the same time [image 058]

• towards the end of the line they can’t see much of the arrow keys, Shift – or equivalent - not at all [image 059], the instructions and messages seldom and never for long enough for him to understand [image 060]

• When they start turning from Mailings using a laptop or half-way across a computer, they’re likely to skip straight to the end as they’re still in pre-hemi time and speed [image 061];

• from time to time my blank hole hides a word or two in the middle of the screen as his half-eyes turn back and forth [image 062];

• when he asks for help his half-eyes frequently can’t see what he’s being shown, never if it involves more than a single “click”;

• it leaves him feeling a bit of an idiot and therefore avoids having to ask;

• almost forgetting as it’s so continuous, more likely than not his half-eyes are unable to see the cursor immediately and then again and again.

Even more frustrating is his half-eyes being forced to keep checking what he’s working on due to the mistakes caused by my rewiring hemi companion and me. And the more detailed this hemi main story’s become, the frequent the mistakes. Worst of all, they’re usually hiding in my right hemi blank side and have to be worked out backwards.

As a result, his mind’s learned to ignore what his half-eyes have just started to work on. Instead, in the briefest of moments it’s rewritten within itself the entire piece. Which, of course, means it has to be laboriously typed and, as always, there’s the risk of yet more mistakes. At least each rewrite is usually an improvement on the previous one, though with no promise it’s the last.

My Rewiring Hemi Companion 

It was operation 4 of the six medical masterclasses that switched his communication lights on again, from nothing more than rubbish to 98% of pre-hemi time and speed. Then, as earlier, my rewiring hemi companion started to fray a bit at the edges 30 years on.

It made him feel uneasy as to the future, though hardly surprised. He'd already had a mass of borrowed time and a brain that’d been reconfigured might well start to show earlier than otherwise symptoms of conditions more associated with a little later.

He called the year "the watershed" as my epilepsy hemi companion returned after a very long rest, he lost all hearing in his right ear as completely as my right hemi blank side, and during a public meeting said £500,000 instead of £300,000 and denied doing so.

A scan found nothing. Yet he’s still getting letters, words and numbers wrong or jumbled up, also at times not speaking as smoothly as before. Letter and word mistakes, however frustratingly time wasting, can easily enough be sorted. It’s numbers that let him down, as a number looks like a number even if it’s the wrong one (see also Paradise Lost 2).

Tortoise Speed Reading (and Writing)

Very briefly here as his tortoise speed reading will cover most of his short-vision in Hemi Practice into Theory. Before hemi computer phobia and my rewiring hemi companion, tortoise speed reading hadn’t been much of an issue, just some half-eyes vision speed reduction [image 063]. Then put the three together and things have never been the same again.

Pre-Hemi Time and Speed and Hemi Time and Speed

As should be expected, by now he’s quite good at distinguishing between pre-hemi time and speed and hemi time and speed to avoid tension between the two, or at least realising what’s gone wrong when it has.

Like when running for the bus, or when he still could. He was on pre-hemi time and speed and risked hemi bumping into the bus-stop unless he slowed down to hemi time and speed – and watch the bus pulling away [image 064]. Though, as with my blank hole, it’s seldom a joking matter (see my 'blank hole'). There’s very much more to it with the two 'twilight zones' as it’s so important.

My Blank Hole

Equally, my blank hole, once again, hemi instinct starting with the incident when he nearly walked into a car, then took years to work out why.

It was coming up to 6.00 am. He was in a hurry as usual. He needed to cross a road he knew well. It was long and wide in both directions, flat, in good condition, seemingly completely clear. Despite that, he was doing what he’d been taught as a child – left, right and left again before starting to cross [images 065 & 066].

His head and his half-eyes had to spend a mini-moment longer away from directly ahead on my right hemi blank side than on his left side to perform a “formal half-right turn”. Though the real snag was his head forgetting his half-eyes were down from pre-hemi time and speed to hemi time and speed. It meant his half-eyes would be unable to cover his head’s turns in full. So, what to do?

What seemed sensible was for his half-eyes to cover the actual turns, the exciting moments, and skip the dull bit in the middle. And it was in the middle when the car went passed almost unnoticed – this hemi image shows what everyone else would have seen [image 067].

Some risk free my blank hole examples, primed as usual with yet more timewasting frustration –

• again, causing his half-eyes not to see words in the middle of a line of text, the equivalent of not noticing the car;

• his half-eyes missing the crucial moment in an action movie if it’s in the middle of the screen [image 068];

• equally a football match till the re-play [image 069];

• no point in trying to watch films with sub-titles [image 070];

• breaking a plate when washing up if a large plate’s been stacked in front of a smaller one [image 071 & 072];

• missing his friend approaching from the middle distance while his head and his half-eyes turn back and forth [image 073].

Hemi Image Learning

He’d never had reason to own a camera till he started on this hemi main story. He'd also tried to avoid being asked to take images for friends as camera controls appear always to be on my right hemi blank side. 

When he finally got going for himself, he found he was trying to repeat “what you see, what he sees” like Google’s ducks. Till hemi instinct pointed out that half-eyes don’t work that way, not even rectangular. So, how could a non-photographer photograph curves [image 074]? Till he was given some unexpected help.

First, from Google with the long-vision view of the bandstand of earlier that he hadn’t noticed till now. Crucial is the tiny curve on my right hemi blank side as well [image 075]. And as it’s of a left hemi, it’s also the moment to formally introduce the entire hemi collective. [image 076].

Now with his head fully involved long-vision-wise, longest distance hemi images see his half-eyes and his lens working closely together. However, increasingly his lens sees more than his half-eyes as he brings the hemi image forward [image 078].

As his hemi images are attempting to compare his half-eyes vision with his full-eyes vision, frequently two hemi images have to be involved, sometimes more. So, to keep hemi image numbers down, on occasion he turns his camera very slightly to my right hemi blank side to show what his half-eyes have just missed - such as this turning he hadn’t seen [image 079].

Practice into Theory

The scene setting complete, now the hemi learning he’s been living all this time. It’s in two parts, short-vision and long-vision, the one much more demanding than the other.

First, however, it’s back to Google and its hemi library to see what he should have hemi learned years ago. Except fate’s just barged in with the answer to what’s become his hemi half-duck business card idea.

Discovery Pool

Though by now he’s thoroughly confused. He’s still excited by the ducks, 'what you see' [image 080], 'what he sees' [image 081]. Yet has he really been going around for all this time seeing things this way? Except Google seems to be saying so, while he’s fully aware he’s much to hemi learn, hemi relearn as well.

For another of the reasons known only to fate, he’s found himself at Brixton Recreation Centre’s swimming pool to test his idea [image 082]. It requires his half-eyes to stare directly ahead along the pool as in pre-hemi time and speed to show what he can still see and what he now can’t. He’s been using the pool for years and knows it won’t spring any surprises of its own - that’s ignoring his two fits in it.

By now he’s a painfully slow swimmer and hugs the slow side of the slow lane, the faster swimmers and lanes on my right hemi blank side [image 083], a general lane on his left side [image 084]. Though while actually swimming he finds his head’s turned to his left side, his upper body as well, also his half-eyes though from time to time turning a bit towards me to provide directions. Except for the moment he’s sitting on top of the pool’s deep end to carry out how he performs.

His head starts turning to directly ahead where it used to be based. It’s finding it difficult due to being out of practice, or rather due to the slightly angular “new true middle” approach.

Even more so his half-eyes. In fact, they fail altogether. However hard they stare directly ahead at “what you see, what he sees”, they see a bit of the pool on my right hemi blank side in addition to his left side [image 085]. Then the moment he allows his half-eyes to relax, they turn a bit further to me [image 086]. It reminds him of the 2 letters, perhaps 3 on his laptop screen.

Except his head’s already turned back to his left side ready for him to swim. As far as he’s concerned his hemi half-eyes business card idea’s failed, though not so fate as it’ll be showing him at the very end of this hemi main story. Though not so for fate, as it’ll be showing him at the very end of this hemi main story. It’s failed for him due to the ridiculous way he swims - again, his head and his upper body turned well to his left side, his head to such an extent that his right half-eyes will be red by the time he gets out of the pool due to the chorine in the water.

Not that it matters as far as he’s concerned. He now has a sense of what’s going on around him. With the right half-eyes in the water on his left side, the two half-eyes together are close to seeing equally “half and half”, completely the opposite to “what you see, what he sees”. As far as his head and his half-eyes are concerned, I’m as good as not being here [image 087].

Completing Google

With fate finished for the moment, it’s back to Google’s hemi library to cover what he’s missed till now, starting yet again with “what you see, what he sees”, and then moving on

• first, a standard hemi image traffic sign as an alternative to half ducks [image 088];

• ducks again, though this time questioning the accuracy of what his half-eyes are experiencing, a left hemi instead of me [images 089 & 090];

• somehow this Eagle and large traffic sign have slipped in;

• next, a half-paragraph to finally convince himself there’s more to hemi learning than “what you see, what he sees” [image 091];

• even more to the point, Paris reminding him that half-eyes aren’t rectangular, though its shape isn’t the same as mine [image 092];

• excitedly, perhaps this hemi image is the same as his own half-eyes vision, then realises it isn’t the case as it’s still being shown through full-eyes [image 093] - his own half-eyes see nothing more than his right arm or right leg;

• so, back to the left-hemi bandstand yet again with its tiny curve [image 094].

Half-Eyes Short-Vision

At last, it’s up to him with his own hemi basics. Unlike fate, his short-vision comes first. It’s where it all started, 2 letters, perhaps 3.

Short-Vision – Horizontal My Right Hemi Blank Side

Short-vision horizontal on my right hemi blank side’s also in two parts, conventional 'book-reading' and computer imposed 'gulping'. They start together briefly, then go their separate ways while keeping well in touch.

“What You See, What He Sees”

He’s back to 'what you see' [image 095], 'what he sees' [image 096], fortunately for the very last time as they were made redundant in the swimming pool.

What His Half-Eyes Expect to See

Instead, his half-eyes are ready to read. Following the example of the Google “half-paragraph” that’s shown him how artificial it is, they expect to start with a blank on his left side at the top left side of the page [image 098], with a blank on my right hemi blank side as well due to me [image 099].

What His Half-Eyes Actually See

Yet as his half-eyes stare at his top left side, they keep seeing the tiny bit of text on my right hemi blank side, 2 letters, perhaps 3 once again [image 099], a perfect miniature of his half-eyes swimming pool experience [image 100].

They can’t hold it for more than a moment, hemi instinctively this time turning to my right hemi blank side where all the action’s about to begin. Which is also the moment “book-reading” and “gulping” go their separate ways.

“Book-Reading”

Another of the responsibilities I’ve imposed on his head is assisting his half-eyes to read. Its involvement is so slight he never realised till he compared “book-reading” with “gulping”. It’s so slight on his left side that it hardly affects the entire my right hemi blank side short-vision focus.

For left pages, his head and his half-eyes start “book-reading” together, seeing nothing more than 10 letters or so including punctuation marks and blanks [image 101]. His head continues turning, though more slowly than his half-eyes.

Now turn to right pages, my right hemi blank side, and this time his half-eyes see plenty of it at once. Though again for actual “book-reading” they’re down to the 10 letters or so, probably a little more on my side, a little less on his side. [image 102].

Not the easiest way to get things doing and there’s plenty more trouble to come as my rewiring hemi companion joins hemi computer phobia to add to his mistakes. So, hemi instinct’s come up with four mistake problem categories – hemi hiccups, hemi logjam, hemi comprehension fog and hemi snakes and ladders. In addition, there’re two false line endings for him to worry about.

His half-eyes start with standard longish words and there’re plenty of them given the small number of letters they can see in front of them. Most standard words cause his half-eyes no hemi problem, not even having to wait for all their letters to have arrived before moving on, such as “immedi…” and “straightfo….”.

However, some standard words can be a bit of a hemi headache with his half-eyes not knowing immediately its correct word ending, such as “instinct”, “instinctive”, “instinctively”, “instinctiveness”, sometimes requiring a second attempt before continuing.

He’s surprised at the comparative ease in which his half-eyes deal with long words they don’t immediately recognise, such as “laboriously”, even more so “tribulation”. His mind has no option but to accept hemi time and speed. There’ll certainly be a hemi hiccup or two while working out the word, nothing more [image 103].

Surprising again, though this time the other way around, is the problem that can be caused by a succession of everyday short words, especially when followed by a longer word. 

The simplicity of the short words encourages his half-eyes to hurry ahead at pre-hemi time and speed, only to realise they’ve been too hasty and failed to give his mind sufficient time to convert the succession of short words into full hemi comprehension order. If short words alone are involved, most likely his half-eyes find themselves stuck in a hemi logjam that his mind has to separate into correct working order before proceeding [image 104].

The longer word may take the mistake further. The moment his half-eyes see it, once again his mind has to switch from pre-hemi time and speed to hemi time and speed to give it its full attention. As a result, his mind loses its initial hemi comprehension of the short words together. Having grasped the longer word, his half-eyes have to return backwards short word by short word. This may make no immediate sense and cause a hemi comprehension fog [image 105]. Or instead of waiting for the fog to clear, his half-eyes may decide to play hemi snakes and ladders [image 106] back to the start of the sentence to try again.

Now the two end of line regulars. They show as well as anywhere how close the gap is between what his half-eyes can see and what they can’t. Admittedly, here it’s more apparent when using a computer with a print layout as again a book layout, the one jagged [image 107], and the other smooth [image 108].

From time to time the layout of a paragraph is such that hemi instinctive assumes a line’s ended. It’s already hurrying back to start the next, only on arrival to discover the old line hasn’t ended after all [image 109].

Similarly, especially in the middle of a long paragraph and remembering his half-eyes can’t see the end of one line and the start of the next at the same time, hemi instinctive may well have difficulty identifying the correct new line and be forced to return once again.

Inevitably, “book-reading” isn’t the pleasure it used to be. Yet there’s still something almost comforting about it despite my rewiring hemi companion and me. He says it’s the familiarity and simplicity, much the same as when he was still typewriting. There’d been no risk of his catching hemi typewriter phobia unlike in a moment [image 110].

Slipping in handwriting, as a right-hander his half-eyes see the tip of his pen at the start of a word then see it disappear. A perfect excuse for his appalling handwriting. Except that would mean his having to explain me which, as earlier, is highly unlikely.

“Gulping”

As background, or more excuses, for his hemi computer phobia –

• computers didn’t exist before he met me and he’s managed everything else about me;

• they’ve been designed by people with full-eyes for people with full-eyes, not people with half-eyes;

• he’s failed to find the “one to one” help he’s needed as he struggles to explain me;

• using computers, his half-eyes are required to work vertically as well as horizontally, back and forth, hemi instinctive even positioning his chair at the left side of his laptop where so much of the action’s performed [image 111].

Even before he gets going horizontally, his half-eyes look up, most likely with something hidden horizontally. [images 112, 113, 114, 115, 116 & 117].

At last, the toolbar allows his half-eyes to proceed horizontally. Unless the screen’s blank ready for use, they’re confronted by a meaningless 'gulp' of text. It’s like a newspaper column without a completed story line [image 118]. Something like 25 letters to a 'gulp' including punctuation marks and blanks treated as letters, four horizontal 'gulps' to a line.

Hemi instinct describes 'gulps' as such due to their relaxed approach to their length, some letters forming a word, others not. Their purpose is to provide a rough guide to what’s going on across the screen. Nothing more than rough, his half-eyes seeing so little of what’s taken for granted by just about everyone else.

'Gulp 1' is much the busiest of the four, with the prime part of the toolbar immediately above it. It’s such that at the end of the 'gulp' his half-eyes are as likely to look up to what they can see [image 119], as continue horizontally into what they can’t [image 120].

It’s 'gulp 2' that’s the problem. 'Gulp 1' made reasonable sense as his half-eyes could see the start of everything on his left side as usual. It isn’t the case with 'gulp 2' as there’re no clear reference points.

It’s especially difficult at the end of the 'gulp' [image 121]. At the end of 'gulp 1' his half-eyes could see new letters appearing ready to start “gulp 2”. Not so at the end of 'gulp 2'. His half-eyes can’t turn any further to my right hemi blank side, or at least not on their own. It’s a mini-hemi crisis.

The mini-hemi crisis is resolved when his head realises what’s happened. As already, when his half-eyes “book-read” they turn very slightly to his left side for left pages, to my right hemi blank side for right pages, with his head supporting them hemi instinctively without realising [image 122]. It hasn’t been possible with 'gulping' so far due to the toolbar’s rigidity, his head frozen as his half-eyes turn up and down, back and forth, 'gulp 1', perhaps 'gulp 2', nothing more.

To get things going again, his head has to turn very slightly to my right hemi blank side. This frees his half-eyes to continue along the line. They can even treat 'gulp 3' and 'gulp 4' together unlike 'gulp 1' and 'gulp 2' as the far end of the toolbar causes them no concern [image 123].

Short-Vision – Horizontal Left Side

His horizontal short-vision left side shouldn’t require any attention. I’m a right hemi, so he’s taking it for granted nothing’s changed here due to me.

Short-Vision Vertical

His vertical short-vision can also be skipped. Ignore the toolbar for a change and almost the moment his half-eyes look up they’ve reached his long-vision.

My No-Longer Right Hemi Blank Side

His short-vision my right hemi blank side has given him a hard time. Though thanks to his head and his half-eyes working together, my no-longer right hemi blank side has shown him that I’m not quite as much of a hemi headache as he’d feared.

Half-Eyes Long-Vision

Now the half-eyes vision switch from short-vision to long-vision, from less than half-eyes to more, that bit easier now.

Long-Vision – Horizontal My Right Hemi Blank Side

“Gulping” Again

His second home’s Madeira, or was till the pandemic [image 124]. He went there early every morning after giving Chirpy its big-breakfast [image 125]. It was ideal for him as everyone there spoke Portuguese, while the only Portuguese he knew was Benfica [image 126]. Therefore he was left alone to struggle on with the hemi stories, the owner tolerant of his long presence.

Though on that occasion he was outside as Madeira was beside a pedestrian crossing, a kind of long-vision version of his recent short-vision along his line of text. Hemi instinct wanted to check his crossing practice, then watch out for traffic approaching across my right hemi blank side.

The pavement and crossing weren’t the easiest, pedestrians waiting to cross, others trying to squeeze their way through, plenty of buggies of all kinds [image 127], smartphone drivers as well [image 128]. Or it used to be the case before bus lanes and the congestion charge. Never mind. There’re plenty more crossings close by.

Unlike with his short-vision, his half-eyes didn’t have to stare directly ahead at the crossing sign. His head, as a member of the head and half-eyes partnership, had already turned hemi instinctively very slightly to my right hemi blank side to support his half-eyes, his half-eyes themselves turned back to the crossing at a slight angle - call it 'gulp 1' [image 129]. Then his half-eyes turned very slightly towards me to cover the entire crossing and a bit beyond - this time call it “gulp 2” [image 130]. 

Long-vision-wise there was none of the difficulty his half-eyes experienced with his short-vision at the end of 'gulp 2'. That was when they hadn’t yet teamed up with his head. So, the partners could sweep across my right hemi blank side to the end of 'gulp 4' [image 131] - straight into a genuine hemi crisis.

'Twilight Zone 1'

While his short-vision finished at the end of 'gulp 4', it wasn’t the case with his long-vision. Hemi instinct had been guiding him along, in effect hemi instinctive doing his walking for him through to the end of the gulps. He also remembered 'formal half-right turns' were his responsibility, not hemi instinctive's [image 132 & 133], admittedly forgetting from time to time. Yet there was now something seriously wrong. 

Hemi instinct described it as 'the twilight zone'. It wasn’t there on his left side and hadn’t been before me [image 134]. Now it certainly was, a hemi fault-line between hemi instinctive clocking off 'gulp 4' and him clocking on for 'formal half-turns'. There was no one responsible in between.

Given the extent of the hemi crisis, hemi instinct took him to a dual-carriageway to show him the danger I could cause him if he failed to perform a “formal half-right turn”. His half-eyes started by seeing with ease all four lanes in the distance, including a bus in the slow lane nearest to me [image 135].

Then his half-eyes failed to notice the lane and the bus disappearing into my right hemi blank side as his half-eyes vision pulled forward – here, as earlier and much elsewhere, his lens seeing more on my side than his half-eyes [image 136].

Finally pulling further forward, as always hemi instinctive started by seeing on his left side, even though the first two lanes were heading in the other direction. His head and his half-eyes hurriedly turned to my right hemi blank side, yet couldn’t see the bus till it was almost too late as he hadn’t taken over just before the 'formal half-turn'.  [image 137]. There’s another disappearing bus in hemi instinct’s hemi display to help him keep awake.

'Formal Half-Right Turns'

Despite hemi instinctive no longer being on duty, hemi instinct’s agreed to help him with his “formal right-turns”. It should be straightforward now that he’d grasped, or claimed to have grasped, the risk he’d just been hemi learning.

Hemi instinct’s been successful in training him to always cross roads on the left side [image 138], or as much as possible. This way, it puts him furthest from the traffic. It also positions him up against the crossing itself to avoid being disturbed by other pedestrians waiting to cross. Then a good “formal half-right turn” to check for traffic approaching [image 139]. This for lesser crossings, a major one in a moment.

Though it isn’t long before his head and his half-eyes are back to what’s now “twilight zone 1”, back and forth at pre-hemi time and speed, too fast for his half-eyes to perform a “formal half-right turn”, on occasion not even noticing that the lights have changed in his favour [images 140 & 141]. Oh, why can’t he ever wait for them to do their job for him?

He’s almost at his worst at crossings that have no lights, especially ones he knows well. It’s not just his failure to perform a 'formal half-right turn', assuming he can get away with a glance at a 'twilight zone' [image 142]. It’s also his failure to do a 'formal full-right turn', instead relying on the sound of traffic approaching from behind [image 143]. He may also ignore cyclists till they’ve passed [image 144]. And goodness knows what with e-scooters [image 145]?

Perhaps a bit exaggerated, or till he remembers the lorry driver with head on hands after realising well in advance he was too busy studying his A to Z to take any notice. And one of the consequences of the pandemic for him is the mass increase in anything along pavements he can’t see. 

Now major crossings with hemi instinct back in charge. First, it positions him in the middle of the crossing, his head having to concentrate on pedestrians left and right to avoid hemi bumping into anyone instead of watching the lights [image 147].

On my right hemi blank side, the traffic side, his half-eyes can’t fully concentrate on the traffic for fear of the pedestrians they can’t see [image148].

Finally, they turn to his extreme left side with his head turned very slightly to my right hemi blank side. His half-eyes can now see more than enough of the pedestrians to avoid any risk of hemi bumping, at the same time watching the lights with ease [image 149]. At least he’s quite good at this one. 

“Formal Full-Right Turns”

Hemi instinct is relieved that, unlike “formal half-right turns”, standard road layouts help to protect him to a large extent from 'twilight zone 2'. Drivers preparing to turn to his left side have to stop, or almost stop, regardless of him and me [image 150]. No excuse as drivers, like the lorry driver, understandably express their annoyance at his failure to do what he knows he should have done… and would have seriously risked himself if it’d been a 'left fork'. 

With 'left forks' there’s no stopping required of drivers, and while the road layout slows them down, it may not be enough for some. In addition, the warning signs aren’t as prominent as standard crossings and usually positioned on my right hemi blank side where his half-eyes can’t see them due to me. On top of it, hemi instinct keeps warning him that “left forks” require a “formal full-right turn” of close to 275 degrees and a full body turn on my right hemi blank side at the start [images 151, 152, 153 & 154].

He learned the consequence of failing to follow hemi instinct’s hemi training when fate itself wasn’t sure which way to treat him, dead or still alive. A bad day at work as he walked to the tube. He was treating the “left fork” as “twilight zone 1”, never even thinking of stopping. After all, he’d been crossing the “left fork” for years and never seen anything along it.

Then the tiniest nick of blood appearing on his bare upper right arm, an even slighter - if possible - awareness of his right leg, a mini-moment later his half-eyes noticing a car disappearing at speed along the “left fork” he’d just started to cross. If the car had been going any slower, it would have had plenty of time to hit him. There’s no hemi image as the traffic engineers long ago saved him from attempting a repeat.

Though he’s still at it. He’s ignoring the fact that other pedestrians can pull back in time if a car’s approaching faster than they’d realised or haven’t bothered to look, while he can’t . [image 155].

Though there are crossings that attract hemi instinct’s sympathy for him, such as the one where his half-eyes can’t see the lights at all when concentrating on the crossing – it’s in hemi instinct’s hemi display. And there’s the crossing that requires an impossible “formal full-right turn” and a “formal half-right turn” at the same time as the crossing’s a very wide curve, a busy side road into a main road without any sight of a sign [images 156, 157, 158 & 159]. Or rather there is, except it’s position so far back he’d never seen it till he started reaching. 

Long-Vision Left Side

He’s still assuming there’s been no change on his left side due to me.

Long-Vision Vertical

With his long-vision vertical, again his half-eyes don’t have to worry about any form of toolbar obstacle. Instead, from a handful of letters while “book-reading” or “gulping” to more or less the sky's the limit. His half-eyes see just about everything that matters, as always aided by his head [image 160].

Long-Vision Completion – So Far

It’s now payback time for his head and his half-eyes after my right hemi blank side short-vision tribulation.

From a quarter or so of his computer screen [image 161] to nearly three quarters of a windscreen even without a wingmirror [image 162] - surely it must be time to de-mothball his non-existent car and mothball his fully-existent computer till the experts come up with a hemi friendly computer without any form of toolbar threat?

Learning with Chirpy

With hemi instinct running out of crossings, that would have been that of Hemi Practice into Theory had he not met Chirpy.

Chirpy’s the feline boss of Brixton market [image 163]. Unfortunately, due to the ridiculously long time the hemi stories have taken, Chirpy had moved by the time he was ready to take a hemi image of it on location [image 164]. Unfortunately, Chirpy’s had to be called “it” as otherwise he’ll be confused between Chirpy and himself. 

They met very early every morning under a railway viaduct, Chirpy waiting for its big-breakfast on the left side of a quiet road almost always empty at that time of day. For most of the year they were in the semi-darkness that added to the surrealism of the moment.

To serve breakfast, hemi instinctively his head turned to his left side and down a bit to help his half-eyes guide my right hemi blank side hand to put down Chirpy’s plate [image 165]. Breakfast served, he had time on his hands. Otherwise Chirpy would trot off with him without eating for some unknown reason of its own.

As he hadn’t wirelessly wired himself up to the 21st century [image 166], he studied the 19th century railway brickwork in front of him. To do so, his head turned slowly from his left side to my right hemi blank side, up a bit as well [image 167]. And as his half-eyes studied the brickwork, his head found itself following a perfect horizontal brickwork line out into the distance [image 168], much the same as his short-vision line earlier on. 

Breakfast over he picked up Chirpy’s empty plate, his head and his half-eyes turning hemi instinctively to his left side and down a bit as easily as he couldn’t a moment or so ago.

As they walked away with Chirpy trotting ahead, he realised it wasn’t just his head and his half-eyes that were involved in the turning. It was his entire body to a greater or lesser extent as it had always been the case with me around and always will - head up on my right hemi blank side horizontally, very slightly down in an arc on his left side making everything a tiny bit lopsided under the “new true middle”. That’s except for his feet responsible for maintaining his balance [image 171 & 172].

All that hemi learning for a big-breakfast.

From “Original True Middle” to “New True Middle”

The joy of Chirpy is its ability to explain something so complex so simply, the complete opposite to just about everything in this hemi main story and especially now.

“Now” is the start of his realising that, while things continue fully upfront, the entire hemi operation’s been shifted to his left side under the “new true middle”. Hemi instinct’s reminding him that his left side vision is now twice my no-longer right hemi blank side with the usual tiny bit more.

To get things going again, hemi instinct’s taking him back for a moment to pre-hemi time and speed before I arrived. Everything was centralised. “Looking ahead” and “seeing ahead” meant the same. His head reigned supreme, from time to time a gentle turn left or right, occasionally a full-turn. His full-eyes did the serious work and took it for granted, no complaint.

Then I arrived and the “original true middle” dissolved. “Looking ahead” and “seeing ahead” had ceased meaning the same. “Looking ahead” now represents the redundant “what you see, what he sees” – sorry for ducks again, at least they’re a change [image 173]. “Seeing ahead” retains its “directly ahead” responsibilities, though only by approaching upfront at an angle [image 174].

Hemi instinct will be showing this angular approach during its cricket match. First, it’s also reminding him that the head and half-eyes partnership has become responsible for his left side as well as my right hemi blank side [image 175]. It did so as it put down Chirpy’s plate on his left side, not my right hemi blank side as I might have expected from short-vision experience [image 176].

Moving on, hemi instinct refers to this extension of the partnership’s responsibility as “collaborative control” [image 177]. It’s only “collaborative” as, despite his head and his half-eyes continuing to focus on matters directly ahead, again they’re the responsibility of the “new true middle” based on his left side and away from me [image 178].

Hemi confusing, so hemi instinct will shortly be going through the “new true middle” in detail with the help of its key hemi positions. First, however, two ways to imagine how “collaborative control” pulls things together, one formal, the other certainly not.

He may have been too busy serving Chirpy’s breakfast to realise it was trying to show him what was going on on his left side. When he finally did, his head with his half-eyes were turning back and forth in a smooth and full half-eyes vision span at hemi time and speed, from “gulp 4” on my right hemi blank side to the end of his left side and back again. It was unlike a moment ago when hemi instinctive was operating in pre-hemi time and speed, covering the same hemi span yet with his head having to switch midway from horizontal to an arc and back again, unrealising.

Which takes him back to long-vision “gulping” with hemi instinct reminding him of his time with Chirpy under the viaduct. 

Repeating it elsewhere, “Chirpy‘s horizontal” covers all four “gulps” on my right hemi blank side [image 179], while his head and his half-eyes manage no more than a single “gulp” on his left side [image 180].

Now turning his head to his left side, the partners can’t manage more than a single “gulp” on my right hemi blank side [image 181]. However, no more “gulping” is required on his left side as there aren’t any hemi imposed restrictions, rather an extension of left side activity due to the “new true middle” [image 182].

Still with “collaborative control” focussing directly ahead at pre-hemi time and speed, each head turn is recorded using an almost imperceptible half-eyes blink to acknowledge the transfer of responsibility from one side of his head to the other. It’s the same half-eyes blink that recorded the moment the car went passed almost unnoticed due to my blank hole. There’s no blink for hemi time and speed as the movement is slower and he’s aware.

At last some light relief, hemi instinct’s cricket match. The fast bowlers have been thundering down the middle of the pitch under “central control” and exhausted themselves. It’s now up to the spin bowlers of “collaborative control” and they’re approaching the wicket at an angle [image 183].

Except “collaborative control’s” objective isn’t to hit the wicket. Rather, to miss it with the ball landing safely on its opposite side. In hemi language, “gulp 1”.

Admittedly, if hemi instinct had played the match immediately after Chirpy introduced “Chirpy’s horizontal”, there wouldn’t have been any need for the hemi headache in between.

Key Hemi Positions

Slightly awkwardly, hemi instinct’s still having to support his head and his half-eyes fully upfront even though his head, now based with his half-eyes on his left side, keeps having to turn from his left side to my right hemi blank side and back again to manage “collaborative control”. That’s why hemi instinct’s brought in its key hemi positions to assist. The key hemi positions may sound even odder than hemi instinct’s earlier hemi names, though again hopefully not for long. Formally, fully upfront half-eyes duty position covers from “gulp 1” on his left side to “gulp 4” on my right hemi blank side; active half-eyes head-resting position covers from “gulp 1” on my right hemi blank side across his left side as far as his half-eyes can see hemi instinctively; passive half-eyes head-resting position covers the remainder of his left turn when most likely he’s aware.

There’s a great deal of interplay between the two main key hemi positions under “collaborative control” and isn’t fixed as such. Rather, a slowing down around his head, even a temporary pause, the slowing down more prominent with active head resting as its name suggests, even allowing itself a pause.

Fully Upfront Half-Eyes Duty Position

Hemi instinct’s already covered fully upfront in immense detail – as good as exclusive short-vision, the head and half-eyes partnership, “twilight zones 1 and 2”, “formal right turns”, “Chirpy’s horizontal”. What’s still missing is detail on how the partners are making up for what’s still truly my right hemi blank side as against my no-longer right hemi blank side.

Hemi instinct refers to this continuous half-eyes turning as the equivalent of a windscreen-wiper in a drizzle, turning very slowly across his half-eyes vision-screen, having a breather, back again… and again and again [image 185]. He’s long since stopped noticing.

Or more clearly through the three daytime hemi images rescued from Madeira of earlier on. His head and his half-eyes are looking out through “gulp 2” on my right hemi blank side [image 186], now his half-eyes turn to “gulp 1” on his left side [image 187], back to “gulp 2” on my side, then on to “gulp 4” [image 188] … and again and again.

Fully Upfront and Active Head-Resting Together

Now fully upfront and active head-resting working together. It’s the heart of hemi instinct’s matter, and while fully upfront’s still claiming to be in charge, active head-resting will be doing most of the work.

Hemi instinct’s commitment to pavements as a hemi training venue is based on its years of experience walking beside him, “left walls” supreme for hemi bumping avoidance, “left curbs” a poor second, “right curbs” and “right walls” to be avoided as his half-eyes can see little or nothing of them.

For his hemi training, hemi instinct’s taken over some South London pavements of all shapes and sizes - single lane, passable with special care, standard, wide, even hemi mayhem.

Along the pavement he’ll be meeting “temporary obstacles” usually up against a wall [image 189], fixed obstacles usually close to a curb [image 190] and “mobile obstacles” everywhere – my apologies for the expression as “mobile obstacles” are everyone else along the pavement [image 191].

“Left Walls”

If hemi instinct had its way, there’d only be “left walls” [image 193] – and for “left walls” also read fences [image 194], hedges [image 195], iron gates [image 196], office blocks [image 197], shop windows [image 197], bridges [image 199], Chirpy’s railway viaduct [image 200], and anything else related. 

The importance of “left walls” became obvious the moment hemi instinct pointed it out. He was already walking along one, his head and his half-eyes turned very slightly to his left side, his head down just a little [image 201]. Now aware, he reckons he spends the vast majority of his pavement time along them [image 202] , even when anyone else would cross instead [image 203].

From the “left wall” position, his half-eyes can see everything they need to see close up, the wall or equivalent, “temporary obstacle” he needs to avoid [image 204], any “mobile obstacle” he may want to overtake [image 205].

Now a flick of his half-eyes to my right hemi blank side, his head up a bit to check the full pavement ahead, watch out for “mobile obstacles” approaching before they disappear into the remainder of my right hemi blank side, any “fixed obstacles” as well [image 206], then flick back to his left side. His head turns very slightly to support his half-eyes without having to turn to my side, that’s except from time to time taking a quick turn to me to allow his half-eyes to check the road with a “formal half-right turn” [image 207].

Helpfully, “mobile obstacles” seem as keen to avoid meeting him as he does them. Most appear as well trained to keep to their own left side along the pavement as they do along the road, even smartphone drivers as they swerve at the last moment [image 208]. Though admittedly he never realised till recently how skilled hemi instinct is at discouraging “mobile obstacles” from hoping to use 'his' left wall.

However, things aren’t always straightforward. His head along with his half-eyes must perform a “formal full-right turn” to check whether the pavement’s clear of “mobile obstacles” approaching from behind if he wants to overtake one himself. And it can be a bit unpleasant when a “mobile obstacle” overtakes him without his realising - like the occasion his half-eyes noticed a rusty kitchen knife close to his throat only when they’d reached “twilight zone 1” [image 209].

There’re also the occasions when hemi instinctive’s spotted a “mobile obstacle” with a greater need for “his” left wall than he does. This leaves him with two options, trying to squeeze even further up against his “left wall” [image 210] or break the hemi instinct security rule of keeping away from “right curbs”. [image 211].

Even more helpfully, the occasions when hemi instinctive realises in time it’s pointless to argue his “left wall” prerogative as it knows he’ll lose – a pushy group of “mobile obstacles”, buggies of all sorts again [image 212], the bikes and e-scooters of earlier. 

Though even now he can be seen playing “chicken” – which of the two, the “mobile obstacle” or him, will give way first? [image 213]

He does give way without argument if he comes to a single lane [image 214]. It makes sense, a mix of politeness and knowing that inevitably I’d be getting in everyone’s way.

And there’s the only occasion when hemi instinct expects him to swerve to the “right curb”, to my right hemi blank side. It’s when the pavement’s narrower than usual yet passable with extra care.

By swerving this way, his half-eyes can guarantee not to hemi bump into the “mobile obstacle”, though he can’t be so sure that he won’t end up hemi bumping into the “right curb” or even onto the road. The fun starts when the “mobile obstacle’s” equally considerate and swerves as well – in the same direction.

Understandably, hemi instinct takes no responsibility for what happens on the odd occasion he goes to Oxford Circus. Even now he doesn’t know how to find a way out of the tube without having to cross the road to get to wherever he’s heading. Which means he has to abandon the safety of the “left wall” – which here, of course, doesn’t exist [image 215] - for the “right curb” with “mobile obstacles” all around him and going in every speed and direction [image 216]. He can even find his right arm sticking out in the hope of protecting himself from the “mobile obstacles” his half-eyes can’t see on my right hemi blank side as they’re trying to cope with his left side [image 217].

“Left Curbs”

“Left curbs” are indeed a poor substitute for “left walls”, though hemi instinct accepts that from time to time they’re unavoidable [image 218]. And it’s not just finding himself close to the road that’s worrying. It’s also the positioning of “fixed obstacles” [image 219].

Hemi instinct acknowledges that, however uneven they may be, the positioning of “fixed obstacles” is correct for just about every “mobile obstacle” other than hemi colleagues with a right hemi. It almost always means he has to physically turn towards the “right wall”, to my right hemi blank side. It hadn’t mattered in pre-hemi time and speed. His full-eyes could cover much of the road, all the “left curb” and the pavement, even much of the “right wall”, all at the same time. His half-eyes can’t. 

Due to me, his half-eyes backed by his head are forced to make choices and frequently have to change them back and forth –

• his head turning well to his left side, with his half-eyes seeing much of the road, all the “left curb” and a bit of the pavement [image 220]; 

• or, while his head stays on his left side with a very slight turn towards my right hemi blank side, his half-eyes seeing a slither of the road, the entire “left curb” and the pavement as far as “gulp 2” [image 221];

• or his head turning to “gulp 2” on my right hemi blank side, with his half-eyes seeing a slither of the “left curb”, the entire pavement and a bit of the “right wall” [image 222].

Hemi instinct’s relieved that most “fixed obstacles” are as slim as a lamp post [image 223], though it’s not always the case. To negotiate a large tree up against a “left curb”, there’s always the risk of his half-eyes not seeing the wheelie-bin up against the “right wall” beside it and hemi bumping into it – at least the environmentally friendly green wheelie-bins are usually weight-friendly as well [image 224].

It was on one of these occasions when he first met hemi instinct. His crutches of the time made the “left curb” that much narrower than ever, while the road was completely clear despite the parked cars on either side of it. His half-eyes could see with ease any traffic approaching or driver getting into their car [image 225].

The quietness also allowed his head and his half-eyes to perform quick full-left turns to check for traffic approaching from behind [image 226]. Safe and simple, safer for him than the pavement and elsewhere as well, usually without any need to check behind [image 227].

More good news, the occasions when a “fixed obstacle’s” been positioned slightly further onto the pavement than usual. As a result, his head and his half-eyes can turn enough on his left side to squeeze between the “fixed obstacle” and the “left curb” [image 228]. He wishes every “fixed obstacle” had been fixed this way. As it is, he practices slaloming around them [image 229]. 

Now the bad news, turning from a “left curb” to a “right wall” to get into a shop or something similar. It was hard enough in pre-hemi time and speed, though he’d never had to start at a “left curb” and then cut across a choppy sea of "mobile obstacles" to get to his destination [images 230 & 231]. 

There’ll be another version of this with “right walls” just coming.

“Right Curbs” and “Right Walls”

Once again, hemi instinct’s reminding him that “right curbs” and “right walls” are places where he shouldn’t have found himself and must get away as quickly as he can.

Admittedly, it’s a bit hemi confusing once again. This time there’s plenty of pavement for his half-eyes to see of both. Except it isn’t the point at the start. Rather, it’s the actual “right curbs” and “right walls” that matter as they’re hemi blank or nearly so. It means his half-eyes have difficulty doing their job. The challenge is to find ways around them, much easier with one [image 232] than the other [image 233]. 

He can usually get away from “right curbs” without too much difficulty. His half-eyes have sufficient half-eyes vision on my right hemi blank side to see the “right curb” itself and a bit of the road, seeing ahead as well with the usual help of his head – most likely “gulp 3”. And what his half-eyes see is quick and easy before they turn to his left side for the main pavement action.

His half-eyes also have the option of stopping till “mobile obstacles” organise themselves enough to allow him to safely proceed [image 234]. In addition, it’s one of the rare occasions when the far end of his left half-eyes vision can be useful, sensing what’s going on along the main pavement.

Having checked the “right curb” beside him, his head turns to prepare for the crossing itself. Most “fixed obstacles” are already alongside him and therefore easy to avoid. Which means the only possible problem across the pavement is “mobile obstacles” and they’re almost always easy for his half-eyes to avoid [image 235]. Equally any “temporary obstacle” close to the “left wall”. Not always straightforward across the pavement [image 236], though certainly easier and safer than “right walls”.

In one sense “right walls” are the same as “left walls”, each requiring individual attention. Except this hardly matters with “left walls”, not so with “right walls”. It’s seldom his half-eyes can get away from one with a quick glance like “right curbs”.

Instead, a high-rise block needs to be carefully observed, a school entrance special attention and there’s the door his half-eyes can’t see – probably the greatest cause of hemi bumping is “mobile obstacles” rushing out of one without looking which his half-eyes can’t see [image 239].

Again, completely the opposite to “left walls”, any “mobile obstacle” approaching leads to his half-eyes turning him further onto the pavement regardless of whatever’s going on there [image 240]. It’s always easier for his half-eyes to cope with what they can see than what they can’t.

The crossing itself is unlikely to be comfortable. His half-eyes have no awareness of what’s going on beside my right hemi blank side, perhaps a “mobile obstacle” to be negotiated, much more serious the risk of a “fixed obstacle” requiring avoidance. Some even hide a “left curb” from his half-eyes to add to their difficulty [image 241]. And “left curbs” themselves, that’s when he finally gets there, are hardly welcoming - the reason why hemi instinct’s approved the use of some roads [image 242].

Hemi Mayhem

Hemi mayhems are something else that hemi instinct, very wisely, won’t take responsibility for. Understandably as well, everyone has your own mayhem stories. Yet, while “mobile obstacles” have three options when trying to struggle through - barge ahead, push left, push right - he’s only one, push left.

Except mayhem means conventional practice has been suspended. “Left walls” are now a free for all like the other two options. Which leaves him being tossed around from one side to the other and back again. In one sense, it’s the same as for every “mobile obstacle”. It’s as if he’s back to pre-hemi time and speed. Yet there’s more to it than that for him with me, especially in the dark or somewhere he doesn’t know. No chance here of a hemi image.

Though there’s the odd occasion when he can enjoy a “left curb” hemi mayhem – use the empty road.

Active Half-Eyes Head-Resting Position Alone

With fully upfront receding, his head and half-eyes turn ever further into active head-resting territory where it’s now having to operate on its own, passive head-resting as well to finish [image 243].

The good news, however, is that most of the demanding work required when dealing with me has already been carried out by fully upfront and active head-resting working together. There’s plenty of work still to be done, especially keeping alert to the two “formal right turns”. However, most of the work is routine, hemi instinct shifting it from my right hemi blank side to his left side to be carried out [images 244 & 245].

Hemi instinct cautions him not to treat things too lightly as there’s no warning sign of what’s happened [image 246]. Though not to forget that everything’s been eased a little by the “new true middle” shifting the entire hemi operation away from me.

Passive Half-Eyes Head-Resting Position

Passive half-eyes head-resting position is the completion of active head-resting’s slowing down. It allows some chatting while the other two key hemi positions are having a rest at the same time.

Wherever his chair’s been positioned, his head is always turned that bit further to his left side than active head-resting [image 247]. And the further his half-eyes relax, the closer they come to completing the arc on his left side that no longer exists on my right hemi blank side - Chirpy at it again [image 248].

Hemi Instinct’s Hemi Display

Hemi instinct’s hemi display confirms it’s everywhere, not just along pavements and at crossings. And there’s no criticism implied of London Transport - though I wonder if they’ve heard of a hemi?

More hemi invisible signs...

[images 249. 250, 251, 252, 253, 254, 255 & 256]

“Left curbs” and “left walls” changing places underground...

[images 257 & 258]

Overground again and completely hemi instinctive

• Home [image 260]

• Tube [image 261]

• Brixton Rec [images 262 & 263]

• Supermarket [images 264]

A Bit Embarrassing...

• Shop [image 265]

• Rec [image 266]

 Nightmare

• House [image 267]

• Tube [image 268]

• Gym [image 269]

• Flat [images 270 & 271]

 Everyone’s gone digital – except for him

• Calculator [image 272]

• Cash Card [image 273]

• Cash [images 274, 275 & 266]

Anyone serving?

[Images 277, 278, 279, 280 & 281]